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Hello, I need help with my thesis stement. This is my essential question: To what degree can an individuals choice and actions influence the direction of his and hers life?

This is my thesis statement: When an individual makes a choice to see a bad situation from the perspective of their loved one, they will put themselves on the right direction in life because they realize they are not the only one affected by the situation, and that will push them to take action to be more caring to others.

Is my thesis good?



6 months ago

Answered By Zuyu J

When you respond to this prompt, it is important that you examine what is being asked first. If we look at the prompt closely, it is asking the question, "to what extent can your action and choices determine your fate"? The thesis you have written is somewhat confusing. Your thesis should be a specific response to a specific aspect of the text rather than a generalized statement. You should also indicate what is the significance of your finding and why did the author make the choice he/she made. 

6 months ago

Answered By Christina L

When making a thesis statement its important to clearly indicate the direction your paper will be going. An easy way to do this is making an outline before committing to a final thesis statement (ie: the break down of each paragraph and the smaller points you will argue in the body of your essay). The prompt question is generalized in order for you to emphasize the specific details your arguement will elaborate on and how it relates directly to your overall topic (the primary source). This type of prompt question is called a cause and effect, thus the structure of your essay should clearly be outlined in your thesis statement. I understand from your current thesis that you've thought about how the cause and effect would allow the individual to learn new perspectives, take action, and care more. However, this is still too generalized and the reader is confused on the direction your paper is going because 1. Who is this individual? 2. Is this based off a primary source/text? 3.What is the significance of the individuals life direction? A thesis statement is the most difficult to polish in an essay because it has so many elements to it. I sugguest you simplify it by spending more time on the outline and finding keywords that would summarize all of your points. Those key words would be listed in your thesis statement in which you would further explain in your body paragraphs. 

6 months ago

Answered By Ravonna D

I agree that your thesis is not quite specific enough to the question being asked. The question is not how one's choices affect their perception of others, but how one's choices and actions affect one's self and the direction of one's life. Your question got me thinking about something I read the other day by the author Emma Grace. I add it here for your consideration:"I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but no one, including time, owes anything to you. Your life is a series of habits that are formed from the choices you make - and then continue to make - every single day. If you want healing, then you have GOT to figure out a way to face what hurt you. If you want growth, you need to put in the work. If you want healthier relationships then you had better start learning how to communicate what you need. We all think we're products of what happens TO us. That we're - handed - the lives we have and expected to keep them. We're not. What happens to us is simply a starting point. So YOUR choice - the one you re-make every single day - is to let what happened TO YOU hold you back - OR - to use what happened FOR YOU to propel you forward." ~ Emma GraceThis, to me, speaks very specifically about how our CHOICES - and consequently the ACTIONS we CHOOSE to take or NOT TO TAKE affect our lives. Life is a series of endless choices from what to wear in the morning to what to order for dinner, where to go to school, what career to pursue, to who you will let in your life and how you deal with them. But choice is nothing without action. The choices we make may affect our thoughts, but it is our actions that ultimately lead to the life we choose, or a life we allow to make our choices for us. All the best with your paper! Teacher Ravonna D

6 months ago

Answered By David F

I would love to meet with you in person to go over your thesis.  I understand your thesis statement, and it makes sense.  But to me it is too long.  Short sentences are more effective.  The thesis statement you suggest can be broken down to two or three short sentences.  However, a thesis statement must be one sentence.  Try to condense your thesis into one short sentence.  Reading Robert Frost's poetry or a Hemingway story will help you to write simple sentences that are effective.